Embracing Sensuality: Spirituality, Sex, & Taboos w/ Sensuality Coach Fab Bliss

Unlock the secrets to embracing sensuality as a profound spiritual practice in our latest conversation with the remarkable Sensuality Coach Extraordinaire Fab Bliss. Through personal stories and expert insights, we unravel the layers of societal judgment, shame, and guilt that often surround sex and Tantra. By exploring the nuances of becoming more attuned to our bodies and energies, we challenge conventional views and highlight the beauty of connecting the mind, body, and soul for enriched life experiences.

Join us on an enlightening journey where we address the transformation of men seeking to become better lovers and partners. Our discussion uncovers the cultural barriers and puritanical mindsets that stifle open conversations about intimacy and self-pleasure. We boldly compare societal acceptance of violence to the taboo surrounding sexual pleasure, advocating for education and personal bravery as tools to foster healthier relationships and shift societal norms.

Finally, we reflect on the influence of social media and cultural changes since the 1980s, contemplating their impact on personal expression and sexuality. Our conversation touches on topics from the role of pornography to the magic of energy transformation, drawing inspiration from legends like Marilyn Monroe. We promise to share practical tips on harnessing presence and energy for deeper sensual and spiritual fulfillment, leaving you with insights to transform your perceptions and embrace sensual living.

Spiritual guru, two-time #1 best-selling author, and higher consciousness advocate Shaman Isis (aka Cynthia L. Elliott) is on a mission to turn the tide of the mental and spiritual health crisis with mindfulness practices, incredible events, powerful content, and motivational storytelling that inspire your heroes journey! Learn more about her books, courses, speaking engagements, book signings, and appearances at ShamanIsis.com.

Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness. 

Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring Sensuality and Tantra With Expert
• 9:21 Training in Sensuality and Relationships
• 22:42 Exploring Sexuality and Social Media
• 35:54 Unlocking Sensuality Through Presence and Energy
• 40:13 Embodying Sensuality and Shifting Energy
• 46:03 Exploring Sensuality and Embodiment Retreats

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:56

Hello and welcome to Glow Up with Shaman Isis. I am jacked for today's episode of our podcast. I have got a dear friend, someone who I love so much, who has so much to share, so much knowledge to share, joining us today. Fabulous, hello. Sensuality Coach Extraordinaire. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm honored. Oh, please, it's my pleasure. So for for our listeners, can you tell us what is a sensuality coach exactly?

Speaker 2: 1:27

oh, you know, when, um, people ask me that I remember the breakfast club. Remember when they asked them to do an essay on who do you think you are? That's how I feel when I describe my work. My title has been evolving steadily, for I've probably been in this. Well, I've been in this profession for lifetimes, but in this experience it's probably been 2003. Wow, 22 years where I've been working with people both in session work and in workshop and retreat settings. Um, a sensuality coach is someone who shows you how to be embodied in a way that increases sensation and pleasure and allows you to infuse all of the aspects of your life not just lovemaking, not just sex, not just you know hooking up, but all of your life with deliciousness and juiciness and how to be more present in your body.

Speaker 1: 2:38

I love that. I love that. I think that we you and I've talked about this before Sensuality really is about the senses, and you can have sensual living, which is all areas of your life, and and introduce sensualness and senses into all areas of your life. I have to ask you a question that I'm absolutely dying to ask. So Tantra is that that's in your wheelhouse?

Speaker 2: 3:03

dying to ask. So tantra, is that? That's in your wheelhouse, it's in my wheelhouse and it was my jump off point.

Speaker 1: 3:06

Yeah, um, what are some of the misconceptions about? So, so you know, the shows glow up with shaman. I saw about raising consciousness and spirituality and living your most beautiful life. What are some of the the challenges that you see in the spiritual and mindfulness world when it comes to the topic of sex or tantra?

Speaker 2: 3:24

uh, probably the same ones I had going in. I, uh was actually a freelance writer. Um, I was reporting when I ended up in a tantra course and it was because I was so burnt out from the entertainment beat that I asked for something more with more substance. And it's a long story. But I ended up at a Tantra retreat. And I'm a New Yorker. New Yorkers tend to be very grounded and about very goal oriented and mind based. So I come to a workshop full of people that I guess you would call new agers, you know, like people that you would find in Marin County, and their language is so different. I was in complete judgment and I wasn't really sure what I was signing up for. I have always had an interest in sensuality, from the time I found my mom's Kama Sutra under her mattress when I was seven.

Speaker 2: 4:27

But I mean, that's probably the first memory I've had of being like there is something more to this than what people say it is. Yeah, so I um, what I have dealt with is how to position the offering in a way that doesn't ignore the sex, the sensuality, because that's what everyone's interested in. If we're honest, um, but being able to, you can't really market Tantra. I mean, it's illegal the moment you start talking about touching people's entire bodies. There are legalities involved, and so marketing myself as a Tantra teacher came with some really delicious lessons. Came with some really delicious lessons. I think one time a client called me a drill sergeant because I was so, you know, wanting people to enjoy the experience as a sensual experience, but then also trying to offer. There's so much more beyond this, beyond just like rubbing genitals or touching yourself in a way that produces a very what I, what I think is what most people have a very low grade orgasmic experience.

Speaker 1: 5:48

Oh, I love that logo, you know, can I tell you I really, it's we. You and I've had conversations about this before. Going through my spiritual awakening and journey and becoming more in touch with my, my mind, body and soul has really enhanced my sensual pleasure, and is that, is that part of the? Is that one of the most important jobs of a sensuality coach is really helping people make that connection become full circle.

Speaker 2: 6:20

Absolutely, you know more. So in recent years I'm realizing how important it is and how necessary it is to to talk with people. Now I will say the majority of my experience has been coaching men. My experience has been coaching men. I literally recently had a client in their late 30s told me that he does not.

Speaker 2: 6:49

If it weren't for fluids being present, he would not know if he had an orgasm or not, and that, like I mean, this was recently, that just, and I feel like I needed to hear that because it's easy to want to push aside the aspect of this that people judge. I feel like I've been judged my entire life because of how I'm built, like I had an ex that used to be like you're like Jessica Rabbit, you're not bad, you're just drawn that way, and so I think it's very easy it has always been very easy to um sort of pigeonhole me into a certain role, and so I think my biggest challenge was how to, how to um separate this out from being called sex work, and I had a lot of judgment about that. But I came to realize that if I have judgment or I'm not willing to have that label, then I can't possibly help eradicate shame and guilt around sex, which is the reason that I do this.

Speaker 1: 7:54

I love that you said that, because I was having a conversation with a client earlier and we were talking about shame and guilt and so many people. I didn't think I had shame and guilt when I before I went through my spiritual awakening, I thought that was something that people who'd done something wrong had it. It just never occurred to me that it was something that was really defining a lot of my decision making and uh, uh, and so I love that you brought that up. Um, I've found it's interesting.

Speaker 1: 8:21

Even at this point in my life as a gen xer, I still find how so many people who become immediately uncomfortable when you talk about something like masturbation, and still stunned at how many women I speak to who have never actually come they know what it is uh, they don't think it actually occurs for women. They've like bought into that whole mod, like when we were young in the 70s and the 80s and the 90s. Uh, I remember having this conversation with doctors where I would say I would try to talk to them about self-pleasure and they would say, well, what doesn't happen for a woman? And we're talking about 20 years ago and I was like, excuse me, I don't think we've come a very long way in 20 years.

Speaker 2: 9:04

You know, I I think I once said to someone if men had any idea how often women don't come, the world would stop, do they do, they, do they care? It's not something. I'm a little, I'm a little confused about that part.

Speaker 1: 9:19

I mean, I'm not saying in my own personal experience, mind you.

Speaker 2: 9:22

I actually want to share something that um, yeah, really is this is very fresh and recent because in recent years I have um, I have done a lot less one-on-one. I have uh really been enjoying training uh people in this, training people in sensuality, and occasionally I'll dip back in and do one-on-one sessions with clients, and this week was one of those times and I remember walking out of it feeling like this is the best experience that I can have with men, literally the best experience. I have men coming in who are requesting to get intimacy skills, requesting to be taught how to be more present, how to be better lovers, how to have more enjoyment, how to feel more, and it isn't a very safe container it is it ends when it ends like it is literally from what I am hearing and what I have experienced, just relationally, socially, right now it is the best experience and I'm so.

Speaker 2: 10:45

You know, every time that I do one-on-one sessions with men, I love men more. It's really easy to not like men and it's really easy to talk about all of the you know, just all of the injustice, right, and all of the everything, everything that's going on. It's just there. Are men out there that really desire to be good lovers and to be good partners and, you know, I think all of us are lost in that way, just because of all the shame and guilt attached to it. But women have a lot more resources and a lot more spaces that are supportive in which to have conversations and training.

Speaker 2: 11:29

Yeah, no, I agree with you like we literally need to be trained in the most pleasurable activity for most of us that exists.

Speaker 1: 11:40

I, a few years ago, I did. I was I was definitely in a different state of mind and I was promoting my sustainable collection intention and I did a mini campaign we will call it where I mentioned that I thought I believed that self-pleasure should be taught to young people and you would have thought that I dropped a bomb on the internet. I couldn't believe. Even the most liberal people that I knew out there fighting for LGBTQ rights were like oh my gosh, you know, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm doing great. Why do you ask? And it's like, well, because you, you talked about teaching young people. And it's like, yes, you have a few.

Speaker 1: 12:19

How many women wouldn't end up with children before they committed to a relationship or having children that they didn't actually plan on having, if they actually knew how to pleasure themselves before they met a boy or a young man? You know, I, I think I, I would think it would help. But also I, I think if men were taught how to take care of a partner and I say woman, men, you, you know, those are obviously traditional roles, but I'm very open-minded, I don't care what it is but if people were taught how to be present and how to take care of the partner that they were with before they actually got with a partner in the first place. And tell me if you disagree with this. I think it would help tremendously in relationships. I think it may make people a little bit more selective, especially if they understood that you take on the energy of the people that you're with, so you want to be selective in who you are with and how you show up in that moment. Would you agree with that Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 13:11

A hundred percent and you know, I feel that I'm a lot more able to be embodied in my embodiment practice right now because of my age. I think in my 20s there was too much of a threat of I'm always going to be asked to, you know, um, to uh, shift my boundaries, or that I would only be seen as a sexual being and not as someone who actually has knowledge and experience. You know, there's a wonderful documentary out there. It's not really well known but, like every time I see it, it literally brings me to tears because it is about how people who are born into lineages of wanting to do this really important sacred work I don't have any, any training, you know, and it's yeah, I mean, I just I'm hoping that we enter a time in my lifetime where it is a lot more accessible and a lot more acceptable and that we just kind of grow up and get out of kindergarten when it comes yeah, sexuality, yeah, the patriarchy, and you know, women bought into the patriarchy as well.

Speaker 1: 14:26

We're equally responsible for tolerating a lot of it For as long as we did. Granted, we were under the thumb, but it really the puritanical framework that Americans were raised in has given us and it's changing, but it definitely I mean it's definitely affected people in the guilt and shame department in the. We don't talk about that, you know. Oh, did she just mention sex? I mean, even when we this is actually kind of funny, you know, you can mention murder on social media and mass murder and show video footage.

Speaker 2: 15:08

Yeah, kids can shoot guns and bomb villages, but they can't learn from a trained professional how to have pleasure so that they're not stuck in.

Speaker 1: 15:16

You don't even have to be naked Like we we, fab and I do, if you guys some of you guys already know that are my fans and listeners know that Fab and I do retreats and things together, so we're we're quite close and we've gone through this thing where we, when we do certain types of workshops and retreats, we have to be so selective about our language, because we'll get we'll get shadow banned for mentioning sex, but you can mention mass murder and show video footage of people shooting each other, and you know it's just craziness, do you? Do you? Have you seen much change, though, in recent years? Do you think we're finally starting to loosen up a little bit?

Speaker 2: 15:54

I don't, I don't know.

Speaker 2: 15:57

However, I do know that it is an inside job and, like what I shared earlier about realizing that I cannot do anything to eradicate guilt and shame if I'm not willing to be judged, to be a pigeonhole, to be, you know, called whatever, whatever people want to label me, as you know, and I mean I'm pretty unfiltered in my, in my, my own world.

Speaker 2: 16:25

I don't have a whole lot of sort of authority figures that I need to be concerned with. I have made this career my life's work and you know so I'm not necessarily in a traditional environment where I have to worry about. You know, I did this podcast and now I'm going to lose my job or, you know, my grandma's not going to talk. You know, I don't, I don't, I don't have that in my space anymore, and it's still, you know, an effort to break through and be able to speak transparently about the work. Because, again, we just don't have outlets that are considered safe, and I mean there was a point where I considered getting like a psychology license and I was like no, actually most psychologists I know are F and nothing.

Speaker 1: 17:14

Crazy. Yeah, they are. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2: 17:20

But you know, cynthia, I guess the rewards I'm not expecting those rewards to come from society. I can only do my part to be an integrity to what I feel is my highest vision or my highest offering. The rewards come when you get a phone call from someone that saw you 10 years ago and says, with all the respect, I literally think about you every time I have an orgasm, and not in the way that you know, not in a sleazy way.

Speaker 2: 17:56

I just remember that you told me to breathe and how that's changed all of my experiences and my experiences with my partners yeah, I love that you bring this up.

Speaker 1: 18:06

this is something that I don't think. If you're not an intuitive empath or somebody who works in a healing modality, which is definitely essential coaching, you know it, heals and flourishes, helps people flourish. I don't think a lot of people who aren't in, who aren't gifted in that way, understand that the vast majority of the work that you do is in these moments where you are nudging, casting a light in the right direction, giving somebody a little bit of a lift or a push, the right sentence, the right word, and that accumulation of that constant. It's a lifetime choice to be present when people need the right word or language and and it adds up to this incredible life experience that I think gets missed by a lot of people who aren't present for it. What's the? So I?

Speaker 1: 19:05

I'm fascinated by the fact that you, you work with a lot of men, and I joke about men not caring about whether or not a woman comes or not, but I actually mean that jokingly, because I will say that divine masculines have really stepped forward in the last couple of years. There are thousands of men, maybe tens of thousands of men all over the planet who are stepping forward to say to guys men, you know we've allowed the women to do a lot of evolving over the last 20 years, but it's time for us to step up and start to evolve. So I think we're definitely going to see a big shift in the coming years. What is the biggest thing that you see that men struggle with when it comes to sensuality?

Speaker 2: 19:46

They cut off sensation, sensuality they cut off sensation just they cut it off and um, part of the session work sometimes involves literally body mapping. So when I touch your chest, where the sensations that you're feeling there, can you breathe into that? I can. I mean, you know, and I am intuitive, intuitive and I can pick up things sometimes from people's bodies that in my mind are like it's just obvious, like it's literally just physics just observe and listen. But maybe just you know intuition and we can't gauge our own intuition sometimes, you know, but I've literally had moments of touching someone's chest and starting to cry because they're not expressing an emotion I can feel based on where a person is contracting or holding or squeezing, but they're almost, I would say 90% of, not just men. Everyone has a lot of tension in their, would say 90% of not just men everyone has a lot of tension in their, you know, in their pelvic area. We're all contracting there.

Speaker 2: 20:54

I think, depending on your geography, that has a lot to do with it too, because if you're in a city like New York where you're constantly having to protect your personal space and there's not a lot of space and you're in crowds and there's a lot of aggression and things going on that you have to, you're in crowds and there's a lot of aggression and things going on that you have to, you know, you just sort of do that and it's, um, like anything else.

Speaker 2: 21:16

It's, uh, a practice of reminding yourself wow, I don't need to be squeezing my neck right now, I don't need to be clenching my jaw right now. You know, and I think, for a lot of the people that come in without really uh knowing what they're signing up for, and I think for a lot of the people that come in without really uh knowing what they're signing up for, because I think we do know, I think everybody knows energetically what they came for, because otherwise we wouldn't, we wouldn't have a successful business. People would be if all they wanted was sex. There are plenty of escorts that offer, you know, or or other types of you know, sexual professionals or erotic professionals that offer sessions that are way cheaper. Um, they are coming for something more.

Speaker 1: 21:57

Yeah, um, what about women? What do you think about? I mean, now you said that everybody sort of holds tension and uh, struggles with being present. What do you see with women in sensuality, is it?

Speaker 2: 22:13

guilt, shame. It's performance. That's interesting, A lot of performance. Looking uh, sexy, sexy appearing women that I know are performing, yeah, and I think we're taught to perform. I think we're afraid to not perform.

Speaker 2: 22:40

Um, you know, I had an experience when I was very young. My first relationship was with someone considerably older than me and I mean I was a kid, I was 17, going on 18, when I met him and I thought that I was actually experiencing orgasms, and it wasn't until I actually had one that I realized I had not, because it still feels good. I mean, sex feels good and that's really, the end of the day, why. I mean Tantra is teaching you the same embodiment techniques that yoga or behavioral therapy or another holistic practice would teach you. We're using sex because that just superpowers the whole thing, and we're interested when it's about sex, but really it's all it is is just bringing you more power for your senses. And so I lost my point.

Speaker 2: 23:28

Where I was going. Oh, where I was going with that is that I was not lying. I was expressing that I was enjoying these sexual experiences and that I was having orgasms, and then, when I realized what was going on and shared it he was never able to have sex with me again, literally never again, yeah, ever wow and it took me years to figure out what that was, because he didn't put words to it you know it was just that's all you know.

Speaker 2: 24:00

It started to become that's all you think about I love you. Anybody will have sex with you, but I love you. And and it became a thing where, like he couldn't even watch a movie where people were having intercourse he'd have to change the channel because that's how, how hurt he was.

Speaker 2: 24:18

But I had to figure that out and even that that in and of itself is crazy that we can't even have that conversation and say hey, when you said that. It totally hurt my ego and it's making me not want to perform like I can't, you know. Also, you know? Another thing that's really um kind of hitting me is is how many men are on pills like is. Is really that all it's about is just staying hard and banging like?

Speaker 1: 24:45

which usually has more to do with their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. And I mean, the pill is there to cover up for the fact that they're not in flow and alignment. They get in flow and alignment, then that very few of them are going to actually need a pill.

Speaker 1: 24:59

It's like a lazy man's way of staying sexual, but it's not enjoyable. For the record, men, unless you really need it and your partner's aware that you really need it, you're just being a selfish jerk. Sorry, I had to say that's my personal opinion. Um, and when I, when I see I've I've seen men over time and, and the vast majority of them that were taking pills that didn't need it, we're doing it for selfish reasons. I mean, it's great if they were actually capable of being present, but the vast majority of them were doing it for the wrong reasons, so they weren't actually present. In her experience, it was really just about when that's okay to switch that up to to take in a relationship. Do you think that the the? I lost my train of thought completely.

Speaker 2: 25:47

It's okay, I do it all the time.

Speaker 1: 25:49

I know right, the, do you think? Oh, I remember porn, which I don't personally have a problem with what I will call healthy porn. I do think that it's accessibility on the internet has actually done a lot of damage to the younger generations and that's one of the reasons why they're not having children. I mean, the economy has a lot to do with it and the job opportunities and things like that, but I do think a lot of it is the overexposure. I mean, the statistics on the number of the young people having sex is shocking. The rarity of which they are actually having sex with a partner or someone has dropped dramatically in recent years and I, I I wonder if that's uh, something that or no. And the performative aspect of it, I mean it's, it's absolutely exhausting and it's like do you really want a porn star? Why don't you just go get a porn star? If you want a porn star, like don't, don't, uh, uh, expect that all the time, but uh what are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2: 26:52

actually would not want a porn star and I think we see a lot of evidence of that. If you go into forums where you see, you know women and men discussing relationships and sex. Um, there's a lot of talk right now about being like ran through or having a high body count, and it's like wow, okay, well, you know judgment, a little judgment there judgment, a lot of judgment, and I don't I personally don't have a problem with porn.

Speaker 2: 27:16

I think it's a tool like anything else. I think, just like with a is, if you're someone who is embodied and considers yourself, um, a good lover and someone that has access to their own sensation, but if you're using it to check out, it can be an addiction like anything else. The other thing is they're not showing you anything but the actual raw sex act. You know, and and we all know how to do that instinctively, um, if you're watching porn and learning how to be with a partner through porn, then you're gonna have a very unsatisfactory erotic life. I think you know, and and again you know, sometimes my own perspective is so weird because I've been in these environments since I was a kid. Um, I grew up in New York in the 80s like sex was. I'm not going to say there was less shame and guilt, but it was definitely way more out there. It wasn't as obvious. The 80s was, I think, a beautiful time.

Speaker 2: 28:45

We had a lot more freedom of self-expression in the 80s I feel.

Speaker 1: 28:50

Yeah, actually I would agree with that, I think I think, it could be that also.

Speaker 1: 28:57

I don't think that. I think media in many ways, the evolution of media, particularly social media, it, it turned um the, in many ways the people began to be too much alike because they were getting it reinforced, or there was, like you know, here's the five stereotypes of how you can dress and your personality and, uh, it becomes almost prescriptive, like here's my position in life. I'm going to be this personality type or I don't know. It's kind of interesting, uh, the speed, the speed at which things travel.

Speaker 2: 29:31

I left my more traditional media career because of all of that. What I saw is so much yes, and what's the word I'm looking for? Inauthenticity, and I felt that it was very soulless and so hypocritical that, you know, calvin Klein ads could be nude women and be plastered on billboards in Times Square and nobody thought that was sleazy. And right now, with like the whole you know OnlyFans, that's one thing that just really sticks out to me. Like I don't have a judgment about that, I don't have one personally, that I don't have one personally. I've never thought to have one, I just wouldn't even invest the time. But really, like the only difference between a lot of what you see on these fan sites that you know regular women are creating platforms on, and something you would have seen in a billboard or a magazine or in Vogue, is that they're in control of their money. So really that's what it's about.

Speaker 1: 30:40

Yeah, no, I agree with you. I think that the women taking command of that situation financially has bothered some people. I like that you brought up the billboard.

Speaker 2: 30:48

It's freaking them out.

Speaker 1: 30:50

Yeah Well, because it's taking the power, the control, out of their hands. You know it's like they've almost become reverse. Pick me the. You know I don't have a problem with people who do. I mean, I've had friends who are porn stars. I've, you know, friends who've done OnlyFans, like I don't care, I don't judge, I do analyze, try, try to analyze from a social theorist perspective how things happen. Um, the only fans thing is interesting because it has, it's allowed the women to monetize and to take some level of command over over who gets access to them. And, um, and it's taken the control out of the hands of the people who were at one point running that show, like the uh, the big, the big platforms, who were sort of running that avenue before women were like you know what, we could just do this ourselves and it's so crazy, like people have really taken it to another level they have.

Speaker 2: 31:46

I have friends with me. Fans, if you are not making that your full-time job, I mean, there are people making a hundred dollars a month. You know what I'm saying like it's not, like this thing where like, oh no, you're gonna do is like show tna and you know you'd be like a sugar baby, it's, it's. Yeah, no, we are, I don't. I don't. It's not that I feel like we're in a worse place than ever, but we're in a really weird place yeah, I think everything but but sexuality, I feel, because you know what's that quote?

Speaker 2: 32:19

everything is it's. I think it's an Oscar well put everything is about sex, except sex, which is about power it is about power and everyone wants sexual power. We use it to sell and buy everything that we do, literally everything what we eat, how we work out, like the clothes we wear. Everything is imbued with sexuality, and it's what we're least adept in.

Speaker 1: 32:49

Kind of funny, right. It's interesting that you bring up the, the billboards and and I I found this interesting because both both fab and I for the listeners both fab and I we met many years ago when fab had the first latin uh fashion lifestyle magazine, uh in new york city. She was uh iconic and being the first at entering an industry that's now, you know, obviously a huge part of culture, and was one of those founding members who did that. We both grew up in that world and I like that you brought up the billboards for Calvin Klein, because one of the things I noticed at that time is if you were heroin cheek skinny meaning you had no curves you could be on a billboard in time square.

Speaker 1: 33:34

Now victoria's secrets obviously uh is a is more of an unusual thing. But even they were five foot ten, 120 pounds, soaking wet, and the curves weren't general. In many cases they weren't actually like god-given. But if you threw a woman up there who was either god-given or enhanced and they were sexual curves, suddenly that was a problem and it's like people were up in arms.

Speaker 1: 33:59

Yeah, so you have. You don't have a problem with naked women, you have a problem with a woman embodying her sensual side, right? Yeah, and it's still like that in many ways. Like I hear the way men talk about only fans, girls, and it's like why do you care so much? Like what do you? What do you care? I say men, it's women and men who say who, who, who will say the negative things, right?

Speaker 2: 34:24

it is. It is women too. We sometimes face the harshest judgment from women yeah, I, yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker 1: 34:32

So, when it comes to people's bringing sensuality, so as a sensual coach, sensuality coach, what are some of the ways in which people can bring sensuality into their like daily life?

Speaker 2: 34:49

So presence is one. Sometimes, you know, it's kind of like when you try to explain meditation to someone and they're like well, I don't know what that I literally just had somebody say I don't know what you mean when you say focus on your sacrum, I'm like it literally means if you need to visualize an object being there, you do that. Whatever will bring you into contact with that point in your body and um. So as an example, this person was um during a body work session, clenching their lower belly, and I asked them to bring awareness there and expand and he didn't. That didn't work right, because we don't all we're not all like the same neurologically. So then I said imagine you have a balloon right below your belly and that as you inhale you are inflating the balloon. So it's really a process of testing out different um sensation modalities to see what, what you connect with. Right, we don't all connect with the same thing, like I.

Speaker 2: 35:54

I love all holistic practices. I do not like acupuncture. Every time someone's like get acupuncture for them, like, no, I feel sick, I don't, I don't like it, I don't resonate with it. But when something lands, you know, then you're able to take that tool and use it all of the time. So after the session they were like, wow, that visual of the balloon really helped. And I'm like and you can do that all day long when you're in a space where you're stressed out or you're not feeling, or you are with a lover and all you can do is think, and you're thinking or you're worried about I'm gonna come too fast, I'm not gonna know how to touch them in the right way. I don't know how to say the thing I want to say. You know all there is to do is bring your attention inward, because then that sensuality is it's. You don't have to do anything to be sensual just like you don't have to do anything to breathe.

Speaker 2: 36:41

We breathe on, we're sleeping, we are sensual beings. It's not something that you put on it, something you tap into, and the way to tap into it is by bringing the awareness in and like exactly the opposite of what we do every day yeah, right um this this.

Speaker 1: 37:01

I love that. The point that you just made about the presence, I mean that. I think that's it's interesting because when I think about it in terms of coming to orgasm, it's the presence without rigidity, that just full presence that allows it to to become as powerful as it can be. Obviously, it's more complicated than that.

Speaker 2: 37:28

I'm sure the big challenge, cynthia, is that you can't again, you can't think your way into embodiment. A lot of times, when people discover like a practice, like Tantra or anything that they find you know helpful, valuable, they will immediately go and they'll read a book about it. There's, you know. I don't want to make that wrong, it's not wrong. However, you are not going to reach a level of experience, of embodied experience by reading and thinking about it. It's not a brain activity, it's like your computer. We need our computers, we need our Google calendars, and they do what they do, but they cannot bring you to an altered state or to a state that you haven't been to before.

Speaker 1: 38:28

I love that so powerful. Well, since that sex or sensuality was spirituality and I I wondered if you could share on that, because I think that's such a powerful comment to make and so very true. Um, and I don't think most people think of it that way yeah, it's literally magic, and I think that might be.

Speaker 2: 38:56

For me personally, tapping into that has been the missing link, the piece that I don't know how to present yet without sounding absolutely insane, and you know I mean, why do I care? I've been perceived as insane my entire life. Bring it on, but like it is literally magic if you can manage your energy.

Speaker 2: 39:24

If you can manage the way that you um hold yourself when you're talking to people, when you're having sex, when you're in a meeting, when you show up at an interview, walk into a room, if you know how to work with that energy, you can literally shift circumstances that are like beyond comprehension. I shared with you, I think at our first retreat, my favorite story about Marilyn Monroe was there was a reporter who asked to shadow her to spend like a day in New York City with her Right and like Marilyn just kind of showed up in her plain clothes and you know, like just you know yoga Marilyn, like regular Marilyn and the fashion.

Speaker 2: 40:14

And so the reporter was commenting on how shocked they were that they could walk down the street with Marilyn F and Monroe and nobody noticed. And when they commented that to her, she said do you want me to want to see me become her? Yeah, and then everybody was, you know, scrambling and jumping and like wanting to take her picture and get near her, and it was she didn't put anything on, she just shifted her energy.

Speaker 1: 40:44

Yeah, I love that she opened her light and shined it onto those around her. That's what I think of when I see her in that energy when she's in Maryland. It's like this, this huge. She's just turned on one of those huge lights.

Speaker 2: 40:59

you know the lights that they shine into the sky and yeah you know, I've sometimes thought the reason that she reached her level of why she was such an icon, is that I think a lot of hollywood is performative, and then it's like the few people like Audrey Hepburn or Sophia Loren or Marilyn Monroe, like those are the people that know how to shift their energy and it's a big difference and that's why they become such legends, such icons, and I think it's a worthwhile skill, you know.

Speaker 2: 41:33

I mean, I think it could be very helpful in life, but at the same time, that is actually more than anything else, even, I would say, more than economics. That is what's at the core of people's like outreach, when a woman does embody her sensuality, is that they know that's what the religions know, that's what the blue bloods know, that's what the masons knew, it's what people know that women are capable of when they tap into that power. That's what's scary.

Speaker 1: 42:08

Well, I think they were afraid of women. That's why they made us bite the apple had to make us responsible.

Speaker 1: 42:16

Yeah, I know right, it was never an apple. I mean, it had to make us responsible. Yeah, I know right, it was never an apple, right, but that whole story is really about making. This is just sorry, this is a little.

Speaker 1: 42:30

This is actually totally off topic. It's in the realm of sensuality and the issues between you know the sexes. Sometimes, when we're talking about male and female as partners, that story is really about them making human males responsible for the birth of humanity and about making her the bad guy, because she's the one that tempted him and that sets the tone for the puritanical belief system that's caused so much of the issues within sensuality, where, even in 2025, which, honestly, 50 years ago I mean maybe 40 years ago when I was a kid I was like, first of all, pot will be legal in the that long, and then the other one was. I remember thinking to myself because I was very capable of sensual pleasure at a very young age and I think it actually protected me in many ways because I wasn't easy to, you know, be tricked by some of the young, the teen boys in town, but I really thought by 2025, that sensuality and masturbation and topics like that would just be like you know, and they are much more.

Speaker 1: 43:39

I mean like, let's look at the podcasts that are out there. People are talking about just about everything in the content. I see, but I still see how uncomfortable people get when you bring up sexuality or just the word sex. It's like I had oh, that's, that's it In my newsletter Glow Up With Shaman Isis. I never had more people cancel my newsletter than when I put out a newsletter about sexuality and I didn't even use the word I use as sensuality and I had I think it was 18 people immediately cancel the newsletter and it, which was fine. I refilled those pretty quickly, but I was like really in 2025? And I didn't say anything that it could even be remotely construed as being too much. I just said that it was about spirituality and sexuality and that you know you needed to be aware of how spirituality and sensuality work together and that you want to be in flow. And it was like really in 2025?.

Speaker 2: 44:34

Really In 2025? Yeah, you know, because I think that muggles will hold shaman, a shamanic personality, to the same standard they would hold a priest. You're not supposed to. You know, you're supposed to be beyond sex.

Speaker 1: 44:52

Well, I'm redefining shamanism.

Speaker 2: 44:55

Yes, you are girl.

Speaker 1: 44:57

Oh, my gosh, fab. So before we wrap up the show, I would love to ask if there's, if there's, a tip that you could share from your experience that will help our listeners get more in touch with their sensuality, and it can be related to sex itself or just sensual living. Uh, do you have a tip to share?

Speaker 2: 45:22

I'm just trying to pick one I know you have.

Speaker 2: 45:29

I know you have a roster in there, I think I think that the the easiest one, um, at least for me. What? What was able to bring me deeper into my body? Because, again, as someone who's diagnosed with ADHD since they're a child and you know, that is just like somebody who naturally multitask and have so many thoughts in my head at once In order to bring the awareness in, I had to do a very mundane task, while being completely aware of it. What actually led me to study Tantra seriously was my first time doing a meditation where we were breathing into our chakras, by myself at home, fully closed. I went into spontaneous what I would call a full body rocking ass orgasm. Describe it? I can't describe it, I can only. It's like asking somebody to describe a sneeze. You can only say what it's like.

Speaker 2: 46:40

You can't say what it is you have to experience it actually sneeze is very similar to an orgasm. Right, it's just like you. You know what happened when it happened. You can't describe it.

Speaker 2: 46:51

You can't tell someone how to do it but, anything, any um practice, whether it is meditation or actually doing the dishes while imagining that you're breathing through your hands, as you do. I literally breathe through my hands when I work on people's bodies. It's what helps me to center, and sometimes I play a little game with myself where I'll do like attention ping pong, where I'll be like like some people are like wow, that your touch is so intense, it's so amazing, and then I'll like take my attention away and I'll immediately feel their body shift Again. It's literally like magic.

Speaker 1: 47:29

It is. You know, you guys, if you, if you are into spirituality and you're into mindfulness, I have to tell you and you and you like you know to be a sensual being cause, that's that's, that's to me they like, that's the most evolved. One of the most evolved aspects of being on the journey is learning how to really command your sensuality. The spiritual practices can really take your sensual living and sensuality to new heights. Why? My first full-bodied, spontaneous orgasm was actually in meditation and I was completely taken by surprise because I wasn't expecting it to happen, but I was in the most relaxed state I had been in in years and it was incredible and I was like, oh my God, the secrets of the universe are being revealed.

Speaker 2: 48:18

So we've talked about this before and it's interesting. So we both said the same thing. We both said we weren't expecting it to happen, which is a vital component to it. Because if you're expecting it to happen, trust me it's not going to happen. Once your brain like again, going back to like the analogy of the computer once your brain wraps itself around a goal, going back to like the analogy of the computer, once your brain wraps itself around a goal, the only information, the only methods you have to get to that goal are what you've already done in the past. You're not going to have a new experience unless you're not expecting it. I've had people convulse off tables because they weren't expecting it. But the people that like read about it. I'm just going to you know, men will. Men will try to make it into you know their pc muscle exercises.

Speaker 2: 49:01

Like you know, we're gonna lift weights with my balls. It's not that.

Speaker 1: 49:05

It's not that it is you need to tell more stories like that. I have to have you on again where we just tell the hilarious stories, please.

Speaker 2: 49:14

Yeah, you know again, this is sort of an ethereal topic for me and one of the I really appreciate my time with you, not just here but in general, and the work that we've done together, because I feel like you're very good at helping me redefine my role, because if we're constantly evolving, our roles have to constantly evolve to, such as manager, ceo, assistant you know what I mean Like we need to continually keep bringing creativity and evolution to the roles that we choose, and I think that you know in my next life I will probably want to work more exclusively with women and couples.

Speaker 2: 50:00

One of my favorite things to do is couples retreats, because when we have a one-on-one experience, if there is an attraction, which there should be you should find the environment and the experience a turn on um. But when you come with a partner, then that lives beyond this session versus just being in this container, and I think that's great as a start. But I think a lot of people do like a lot of men, I will say will have a session in order to become a better lover and then not share any of the techniques that they got because they're afraid. They're afraid of being judged, they're afraid of getting caught and it's like you know, at the end of the day you didn't go and have an affair.

Speaker 2: 50:48

You didn't go and have sex with a random person. You didn't pay for sex. You didn't do anything that really um is outside of your agreement, other than not say what you did.

Speaker 1: 51:01

Well, you know it's interesting, you bring that up before we go. I have to bring this one up because it's something that I find really interesting is how many partners will say, well, he or she or they, whatever it is had better not take care of themselves.

Speaker 1: 51:18

That's against the rules and it's like that is mind-blowing to me and I mean it's my, it's blown my mind free because I've heard it. I remember back in the 90s being like uh, I was always that person that was trying to bring up topics that weren't allowed, because I was like I just thought that I thought it was stupid that they weren't allowed and uh, uh, and I I can't. I had a whole conversation with eight women and they were all like, oh, I've never, I've never touched myself and I would be, very upset with if I found out that he touched himself and I was like I'm sorry, are you kidding me?

Speaker 1: 51:51

do you actually think he's not? You think he's not never have. Are you insane?

Speaker 2: 51:56

and you know it hasn't gotten that much better in the last 30 years it hasn't gotten much better, and you know, really the sad part about it is not the fact that someone thinks that you are violating a relationship agreement by self-pleasuring. The sad part is that the person you're with knows they feel your judgment around it, they respond to it and so it becomes an off topic. And then you wonder why, like most relationships after four or five years are dead.

Speaker 1: 52:28

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 52:29

Well, you're forcing someone to lie.

Speaker 1: 52:31

You're forcing them to show up in a lie in your relationship because you can't handle them taking care of their business. I just find that bizarre.

Speaker 2: 52:44

And also, we haven't had the, we haven't had the education, we haven't had the spaces to talk about this safely, and so so I love all of the exciting things that you and I are cooking up for 2025. Yeah, why don't you talk about that? For, for you and I are cooking up for 2025.

Speaker 1: 52:57

Yeah, why don't you talk about that? For, for you know, let's talk about that. So you guys, we got some. We got some news for you for this year. What's going on with us, fab?

Speaker 2: 53:07

Well, there's both of our podcasts for one, this lovely experience here, and I will soon be launching Are you ready? Good, horny Citizens? Oh, I'm calling that everything you never wanted to know. We also have embodiment retreats. We have our glow the fuck up retreat. I'll say it again, just in case you want to edit that out. We have our GTFU retreats coming up, where we are exploring, um, so many aspects of sensual living and embodiment and in all of its different forms. But part of that will be a lot of training around sensuality and feeling embodied in your, in your skin all of the time, um, and how we can also reflect that outward, because sometimes you do all of the inner work and you're still like, well, it's not showing up. In my experience, my 3D experience, you know.

Speaker 1: 54:06

It's so exciting, so you guys need to get away with two fabulous women and one amazing man and the fans that are going to come join us at the GTFU retreat. You have to join us in June 4th through the 8th. We're going to be in the Dominican Republic teaching you about sensual living and how to glow the F up.

Speaker 2: 54:26

It's going to be, and we're also having this. These conversations are happening weekly on our Facebook lives.

Speaker 1: 54:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 54:33

Join the conversation.

Speaker 1: 54:34

Yeah, you guys come up. We just started a group called Soul Tech over on Facebook. Come join us. A great group of people, creatives and artists and just amazing people joining the group already, so come hang out with us and you can watch us live. Every almost every Tuesday night, it's me, carlton and Fab, who are all part of the GTFU teacher team, and so come check us out. Fab, if people wanted to follow you, learn more about you, where would they go?

Speaker 2: 55:03

They would go to my Instagram page at Bliss Body Temple, and we also have a website which is blissbodytemplecom.

Speaker 1: 55:12

All right, you guys heard it from the stunning Fabulous's lips herself. Thank you so much, darling, for coming on.

Speaker 2: 55:19

Thank you, cynthia. Yes, you guys heard it from the stunning.

Speaker 1: 55:20

Fabulous's lips herself. Thank you so much darling for coming on.

Speaker 2: 55:22

That was fun. You're welcome, you guys. Yeah, we're going to do it again.

Speaker 1: 55:26

We're going to do it again, for sure. Oh, I definitely want to do one where we share wild stories, because you and I both have just got like hilarious stories to share with people. Anyway, thanks, you guys. So much for listening.

Speaker 1: 55:36

If you are not already for listening, if you are not already subscribed, what are you thinking? We are getting close to hitting our 100,000 mark, which I'm really excited about. So if you're not already subscribed, subscribe and help us get to the 100,000 listens mark. I would really appreciate it. And if you want to learn more about my books, if you don't already know about my books and my glow up collection, go to shamanicistcom. You can find out about me as a speaker, check out all the books that I write and the magazine Soul Tech, sign up for the free newsletter which comes out every Tuesday morning and, of course, read Soul Tech magazine for free and all that good stuff and, of course, hire me for a reading. So go check it out at shamanicistcom. And thanks again, you guys, for listening to Glow Up with Shaman Isis. Thanks again. Fabulous, you're amazing.

Speaker 2: 56:26

Thank you.